It's not particularly difficult to find the inspiration for it. It screams Indy all the time. That has me wondering: Will Mum's diary somehow end up with an autograph of, shall we say, an infamous person? :)
It's a shame you didn't manage to include voice-over and audio in the game, but it works just as well. This snippet is an intriguing introduction to an adventure/treasure hunt. There are a few tropes here, but that's what I expected when I started reading It's part of the fun. I like that you tied Ben into the story at least once. It makes him more interesting than just standing there (and basically being a clever hint system/fluff). One thing I'd like to have toned down a bit is Jane's knowledge. One of the interesting things about younger protagonists is that they don't know everything and have to figure things out first. A know-it-all can get on your nerves pretty quickly. This is of course my very personal opinion and may differ greatly from others.
There are a few typos and missing/incorrect words here and there, but that's not a big deal and can be easily fixed without the tread of an imminent deadline. :)
Oh, and thank you so much for the ability to go back a page (or more) at any moment. I really appreciate that.
Hopefully you will finalise the project after the jam. It will be interesting to see where this is going. looking forward to see more of Jane and Ben.
Thank you so much for the positive response! Yeah, Indiana Jones was a huge inspiration, along with the pulp adventure treasure hunt stories like Uncharted and Tintin. I never really planned to have an autograph from a character, but I did have this fun idea for a dialogue somewhere in the game...
"What other treasures could Alexander have found? The Ark of the Covenant?"
"Don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing!"
"Really? Because I heard from a guest at a party that there was this professor that claimed to-"
"That guy!? He's a hack!"
Anyway, in regards to the criticism of Jane being a know-it-all, I get what you mean. Know-it-alls can be a little annoying, but I always loved that treasure hunting trope of the character who passionately shares their knowledge of the history when they find a new clue (as evidenced in things like Uncharted and National Treasure). I guess I could have toned it down slightly with some of the theories or knowledge she had...but I can ensure that in the full narrative, much of what Jane hasn't figured out yet is how to tone down her recklessness or obsession, and that is the more important arc in my opinion.
Regardless, I'm glad you enjoyed this narrative! I'm hoping to turn this into a full-fledged game in the future!
← Return to game
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
It's not particularly difficult to find the inspiration for it. It screams Indy all the time. That has me wondering: Will Mum's diary somehow end up with an autograph of, shall we say, an infamous person? :)
It's a shame you didn't manage to include voice-over and audio in the game, but it works just as well. This snippet is an intriguing introduction to an adventure/treasure hunt. There are a few tropes here, but that's what I expected when I started reading It's part of the fun. I like that you tied Ben into the story at least once. It makes him more interesting than just standing there (and basically being a clever hint system/fluff). One thing I'd like to have toned down a bit is Jane's knowledge. One of the interesting things about younger protagonists is that they don't know everything and have to figure things out first. A know-it-all can get on your nerves pretty quickly. This is of course my very personal opinion and may differ greatly from others.
There are a few typos and missing/incorrect words here and there, but that's not a big deal and can be easily fixed without the tread of an imminent deadline. :)
Oh, and thank you so much for the ability to go back a page (or more) at any moment. I really appreciate that. Hopefully you will finalise the project after the jam. It will be interesting to see where this is going. looking forward to see more of Jane and Ben.
Thank you so much for the positive response! Yeah, Indiana Jones was a huge inspiration, along with the pulp adventure treasure hunt stories like Uncharted and Tintin. I never really planned to have an autograph from a character, but I did have this fun idea for a dialogue somewhere in the game...
"What other treasures could Alexander have found? The Ark of the Covenant?"
"Don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing!"
"Really? Because I heard from a guest at a party that there was this professor that claimed to-"
"That guy!? He's a hack!"
Anyway, in regards to the criticism of Jane being a know-it-all, I get what you mean. Know-it-alls can be a little annoying, but I always loved that treasure hunting trope of the character who passionately shares their knowledge of the history when they find a new clue (as evidenced in things like Uncharted and National Treasure). I guess I could have toned it down slightly with some of the theories or knowledge she had...but I can ensure that in the full narrative, much of what Jane hasn't figured out yet is how to tone down her recklessness or obsession, and that is the more important arc in my opinion.
Regardless, I'm glad you enjoyed this narrative! I'm hoping to turn this into a full-fledged game in the future!